First of all, I would like to mention that these fucktards are complete idiots. I'd like to see them get girlfriends after that act of desperation. Corpse-fucking might be interesting in the realm of make-believe, but seriously, it doesn't show how utterly goth or freaky you are. Actually putting your cock inside a corpse only demonstrates how much of a chick-repellent you really are. So here's my message to you: fuck live chicks (there's lots of sex-starved chicks available and ready to love you up and role-play, just ask them out or find them on the Internets.) Leave the corpse-fucking visuals to the professionals or if you like making your own art, fill this form out. In the name of all that is good and decent, just DON'T fuck dead chicks. Please.
Massive updates are coming your way. We have had some staff changes, so we apologize for the lack of new content. It's cummin' REAL sooon.
Sorry for my long overdue blog, but the website has been updating in spite of my absence and I got some super good shit for y'all. I finally put sound to the It's Spring Again animation and it turned out freakier than hell. YIKES! The whole production totally scares me. My husband made fun of me when I covered my eyes and whined, because I made it. I also made my first 3D animation. It's just Yuri and Ace (from my other free site at http://killerdyke.com/) making out. More animation will be forthcoming. Deano is going through a major change, so the weekly comic is late. But worry not, it is coming soon.
Here's what's new at our member's section today:
Now I leave you with a little bit of Enya vs. Prodigy:
Screwing with History #1 - Spain
1489 - Jun 25th, 2004 1:24:06 pm EST
This story starts out sad and stinky, but by the end of it, I was
not only satisfied, but I actually ended saving a marriage. How is
that for charitable?
"L" the farmer was telling me
that he was planning to attend the Renaissance Faire this summer, and
Valentine told me that she was looking forward to working at a beer
wench there. I've been to the Renaissance Faire before, and I have to
say that all of the heaving bosoms in bodices make me want to go out
and bite someone. I usually end up doing so because I have a bad
habit of getting drunk off my ass on hard cider and mead. I think the
jolly Irish drinking music and bulging men-in-tights buying me drinks
might have something to do with it. Ah, the power of blowjobs!
Anyhow, I got all hot and horny from thinking about the world
of creative anachronisms, so I decided to take a trip back to Spain
1489, just before confused sailor, Christopher Columbus left for
America to spread smallpox/tuberculosis, prosletyze, do awful things
to Caribs, impose dull European culture and bang hot Taino pussy.
(It's true... read the letters at your local library.) Although I
don't approve of anything else those guys did, I don't blame the
sailor for falling in love with those Native American hotties.
Puritanical bitches and Spanish babes (as cute and spicy as they are)
have nothing on them.
Talk about disappointment! The real High
Middle Age Europe stinks. Literally. It's one thing to read about it,
but a whole other ballgame to actually see it. Yeah, the outfits are
hot, but that doesn't make up for the fact that there were human
feces and urine everywhere. People really don't appreciate city sewer
systems until they're gone, or in this case, not there at all. Very
few people understood the concept of bathing in that portion of
history.
There is nothing worse than seeing a really
bodacious wench with visible lice crawling on her head, stench coming
out of her dress, and tartar all over her teeth. The worst part of
this was the fact that none of the peasant guys wore tights -- just
the royals, and quite frankly, inbred snobs do nothing for me.
I
felt totally bummed until some soldiers started spouting some shit
about vanquishing the Moorish menace. Then I remembered that the
Spanish/Portugese Reconquest was still going on and that the Arabs
had not been completely expelled, yet. This sounded promising to me,
because I had heard that the Arabs of this time period were
enlightened, beautiful people, with soft glowing skin with decent
hygiene. Not quite the Renaissance encounter I came for, but
definitely one worth seeking out.
I set my coordinates to
Grenada, Spain, and when the time machine did its thing, I appeared
inside an absolutely gorgeous place. It was a house with arched
entrances and intricate carvings of Arabic text. There garden
consisting of a rose parch, potted herbs, neatly groomed shrubbery,
an orchard of figs trees and lemons. There was a pool surrounded by
marble bricks and a set of water fountains decorated with a few water
lilies and hyacints. The place was deserted. Being that it was a hot
day, and there was a wall shielding me from the outside world, I
decided to take a dip, since the water looked relatively clean. I
tossed my clothes aside and jumped in. This place totally beat the
Northern Spain Rena-stench, pants down.
Some pleasantly hairy
guy in a turban, a long white dishy-dasha shirt and light baggy
pants, screamed something in a language I couldn't understand. He
seemed pretty pissed, so I got out of the water and grabbed my stun
gun, just in case.
I think he was more freaked out than I was
when he saw my nakedness. In a lame attempt to ease his nerves, I
told him, "Salam," and waved hello. At that point the poor
guy seemed really confused. He had an expression that screamed, why
is there a naked blonde woman in my decorative pool? Should I really
be staring at her?
I sat down, spread my legs and flashed my
pussy at him with a coy smile. The Arab dude covered his mouth and
looked over his shoulder. It was obvious from the way he shifted his
eyes back and forth, from me to his shoulder, that he was having some
sort of moral crisis. The poor guy took off running. Being super
horny for having been nabbed, I took off after him. I wasn't about to
let this one get away.
I grabbed his waist and kissed the back
of his neck. He froze. I turned his face towards me and frenched him.
Feeling like the cruel tease that I am, I walked back into the pool,
pretending that nothing happened. The guy seemed outraged that I left
him hanging. He ripped off his clothes and jumped in front of me with
a splash. I giggle and so did he. I liked him.
We wrapped our
arms around each other and in the next kiss, I sucked his tongue. I
tweaked one his nipples and he jumped up rather surprised. I squeezed
his muscular buns with the other hand. He kissed my shoulder in
response. I was so fucking wet from the pursuit. I wanted nothing
more than to have his straight brown cock deep inside me. I dry
humped him, and lifted up my left leg around his hip, hoping that he
would get the hint. He did.
He lifted me up by the ass,
against the wall of the pool. The wonders of water. Even dudes who
are shorter than me become big brutes thanks to the lower exhertion
of gravity the human body. I wrapped my arms around the ledge and my
legs around his waist. He spread my lips apart and stuck his cock
in.
There is nothing more awesome in the universe to be fucked
by a complete stranger, who is unable to speak my language, but is
still able to it with gusto. He wasn't a speed demon my any means,
but he moved himself in ondulating motions, almost synchronized with
the splashing of the water. Needless to say, I was quite contented. I
closed my eyes as the sun warmed my skin and the strangers hands
explored my curves.
The smell of roses wafted through the
breeze, as he blew his load inside me. I stared at him a little
disappointed that he was done already. I couldn't blame him, but
still... He slapped his forehead and rolled up his eyes. I pouted at
him disappointed. He looked pretty sad too, until an idea popped in
his head. He squeezed my ass and pointed at the ledge, as he flashed
his pearly white teeth at me. I got the hint, and next thing I knew,
he was licking my clit. I love it when a guy is willing to eat me
out, after he jizzes inside me. That is totally hot shit. I totally
live without cock with tongue like that. Though, cocks are very nice,
thank you very much.
He held onto my thighs and chowed down. I
forgot to shave, but I don't think he really cared with his beard and
all. His tongue flickered around on my hot button and slid down to my
slit. He spread my cunt apart to get a better look. I wished that I
could've told him to stick his fingers inside.
A rustling
noise from among the bushes distracted me. I squinted my eyes and saw
a form behind the foliage. I sat up, waved at the form and yelled,
"Salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!" The Arab guy stopped and gasped as
the figure leapt out of the bushes.
A woman with big honey
eyes, carrying a rather large book, revealed herself to us. She was
wearing a white hijab, mouth veil and the whole nine yards. She
weepily called out to, "Umar." From her melancholy eye
expression, it seemed like she was saying, how could you, you
cheating bastard?
The Arab dude (whose name was apparently
Umar,) jumped out of the pool, calling out, "Karida! Karida!"
She covered the visible portion of her face and ran away from him.
Umar chased her as fast as he could, buck-naked. At this point, I
felt kind of bad about the situation. Umar caught up with Karida. The
two were arguing in the way married couples argue when they are about
to get a divorce. I really felt like a total shit at this point, so I
walked over to them. I decided that helping out would be the decent
thing to do.
The couple started shouting at me when I
approached them. Both of them pointed at me, and Umar made a really
rude hand gesture. I crossed my arms and shook my head at those two.
All of the sudden this was all my fault. Umar fucked me too! Men are
so annoying at times. I scrunched my face at them when I noticed
something. A strong femine smell that didn't belong to me.
I
took Karida's right hand and sniffed it. Husband and wife looked very
confused. I smiled at Karida because I caught her red handed. Her
pretty henna-dyed finger tips had obviously been messing around her
cookie jar. I snagged her book and opened it up on a random page. Her
eyes shook nervously as I raised a single eyebrow. I couldn't read
the text at all, but her reaction to my quirked brow told me that she
was reading something she wasn't supposed to -- something very dirty.
Umar cocked his head at us.
I pulled Karida's mouth veil down
and snogged with her for a few secords. She didn't struggle at all. I
opened one of my eyes and noticed that Umar was totally pissed, but
far too shocked to do anything other than stammer and point. I
quickly removed her hijab. Her black braid was held by a lovely shell
pin. I pulled it out. The long black braid reached past her tailbone.
Umar protested quite loudly at my seduction of his wife. I turned to
him and shut him up with another tongue kiss. Karida made a very
happy noise. I signaled her to come closer. I made out with both of
them.
I got bored with kissing, but they both seemed happy to
continue. I dropped down and lifted Karida's dress. She had no
underwear on. What a dirty woman she was (despite her excellent
hygiene.) Umar had been very lucky to make such a good catch. She
squealed when I stuck my finger inside her tight, tiny and soaking
hole. I took her husband's fabulous uncircumcized cock into my mouth
so he wouldn't feel left out.
To my dismay I felt some stomach
cramps coming on. It must've been the greasy chicken I ate at a nasty
looking inn during my stay in northern Spain. I don't like doing it
when I am not feeling my absolute best, but I wanted to make sure
that my two new fuck buddies would be okay on their own. I completely
undressed Karida and sucked on her bobbly little tits until the
nipples hardened. Umar whacked himself off, as I pleasured his
gorgeous wife. By using a series of weird hand signals, I
communicated to them that I wanted to watch. They got the
message.
It was fun to watch, even if they stuck with whole
missionary position thing. Those two sweaty hornballs were
super-ethused so that made up for the lack of creativity. As my
stomach pangs made me queasy, I felt like the two love birds needed
some time to make up and fall in love again. So, I gathered my
clothes, my stun gun. I looked at my time machine wristwatch-like
thingy and set my coordinates back to the 21st century.
I
felt kind of malicious so, I called out to Umar and Karida. They
gazed upon me with lustful intentions. I pointed at myself and called
myself "djinn", which I think means "genie" in
their language. You should have seen them freak up when I started to
dematerialize as I prepared for the journey back to my home away from
home. I wonder what they were thinking when I finally disappeared.
I'm sure that it must've been amusing.
Anyway, I am back in
2004, and I am about to brush my teeth and hit the showers. I got
this mouthwash from Jason Organics that I'm really excited about
trying out. I better find some antacid though. I don't want to
disappoint Valentine when I go to the party tonight. See you guys
this Sunday, Monday or whenever the hell I get back. The Phoebes
loves you guys!
