Phoebe's FAQ (This entry updated periodically)

I stupidly agreed to become an experimental biological time-machine. My body was reconfigured in such a way that I could teleport at will and carry anything or anyone I want with me. I wear a stupid fake watch that's actually fused to my skin and I use it to set dimensional coordinates so I can get to where I need to go, as well as any payload I wish to carry. I was a beta, so the technology isn't perfect. That's about it. I don't understand how it works, I just know it does.

If you want to be super-cute, find a way to set the date of your posts "accurately" to 200 years forward.
Actually, if I were 200 years forward right now, I would be using a paper-pc and a stylus. (It's thin like paper with a pencil that doesn't really write -- get it?) Microsoft went bankrupt during the embarassing Windows DP marketing fiasco and they were bought out by Kuan Yin Technologies whose preferred platform was Eunix 6.9. This incredible software ended up the market leader in the computer industry and for this reason, all computers from my time period are totally incompatible with yours. So, I have to travel back to the 21st to post here. Does that make sense?

Are you a pathological liar, a joke, a time traveler, a fictional character, a disgusting pervert, crazy, a hoax, a really nice lady, naturally blonde, a brilliant writer with poor proofreading skills, a crack team of Internet weirdoes?
Yes! And I'm pretty easy, although I am also very superficial.

Are you really Swedish?
Jag redan talat du så pass Jag var en bedragare. Jag er köpa duktig använda Intertran mycket väl. Jag er så Svensk så den Svenske Kokken inne om Muppet Show.

You have a doctorate and you travel through time. Did you inspire Dr. Who?
I would tell you, “Ask that %#@$ Anthony,” but alas, he is dead. I think I am, but the BBC laughed in my face and told me to sod off when I demanded royalties.

Are you for real?
The answer for that would be the opposite of, "Are you gullible?” I am completely fictional and I am damn proud of it. For all you know I could be a bored Japanese computer geek who gets punchy between IT assignments. Maybe, I’m some ugly chick who wants a good laugh after working at Walmart. Perhaps I’m a crossdresser who wants to see the world. There have been rumor that I’m a Latina exotic dancing bombshell who secretly fantasizes about being a retired mad scientist. Maybe I’m just married couple with nothing better to do. All you know about me is that I am a lover of words, extremely perverted and having buckets of fun. That's the beauty of fantasy. With that said, my feelings belong to a real person, as do my hopes and creative juices.

Were you modeled after a real person?
This question is much more reasonable. Yes I am. The real people I am based upon are nowhere near as wonderful as I am on text. That’s okay, no one can be. I’m still cute.

Tell us about your scary looking genital piercing. Does it get in the way during sex?
It is a Nefertiti with a 10 gauge, one inch, titanium curved barbell (I don't do plastics) with pearl-finish beads. I got it because it looked pretty, it feels good and I was curious. I may take it off when I eventually, but it works for me.

My piercing doesn't get in the way during sex. It moves out of the way with the rest of the bits to accommodate a cock or two.

Do you always wear fake fur kitty ears during sex?
Yes, but I sometimes hide them under a wig or other head covering to avoid offending my mates.

I hear that you are obsessed with good oral hygiene. Does that relate to your interest in oral sex?
Absolutely! I am obsessed with my mouth because I am obsessed with oral sex.

Are you a good cook?
No, but I am an excellent baker, especially when it involves chocolate.

What's the best way to contact you?
Please send hate mail, cybersex requests (try it, I'm easy) and other accolades by commenting on this blog.

What's the deal with Mrs. 'Crow?
I don't know. She's cool when she isn't being a bitch.

7:11 AM - Sunday, February 25, 2007 - post comment