The Ball-Eating Pussy

Where I come from, out in Oslo and especially in the future, most people use public transport to travel from place to place. In 2204, people still drive cars, but despite some cosmetic similarities, they are very different. To get to your location, you simply dictate your GPS coordinates and the car will automatically seek out the most efficient route to the destination. In places with stoplights, the car will automatically stop and go as needed. The steering wheel and pedals are mostly used on rural areas without stop lights and as safety tools for maneuvering in difficult traffic.

Driving in the 21st century is to say the least, stressful, especially when we are talking about the urban areas where civility is non-existent, people drive like idiots on roads seemingly planned by drunks on acid. To say that I got lost on the way to Friday's big party and my hot visit with Valentine, is an understatement. Having the party host laugh at my dismal sense of direction didn't help my mood any. This is the main reason why I use brass ben wa balls when I drive. Paired with my scruntry and Nefertiti*. and the vehicular vibrations, this is usually a rather effective stress reliever.

*(Genital piercings. I have no other piercings or tattoos otherwise. I like the personally the employable look.)

The soiree was pretty informal. A small bonfire, hot dogs, marshmallows, baked goods and potato chips celebrated Summer Solstice belatedly as well as Runa's move to her new home. I needed to relax after the horrible drive, so without thinking, I whipped out my skinny pink bendable dildo, my corded anal beads and some lube out of my duffle bag. I really didn't care that I committed a major social faux pas as I stomped on over to a nearby wooded lot and fucked myself in the ass. I felt much better after I orgasmed, but the anal action only made me hornier. Frustrated, I stuck my beads back into my butthole and left them there.

Valentine arrived fashionably late, and clad in flannels and jeans. I wore a long black skirt and button shirt. It's usually the other way around. She and I were very huggy and kissy, but that didn't stop her from constantly grabbing poor Lilian's ass, and staring at Runa's cleavage, through cleverly slashed baby tee fabric.

I wanted to fuck that tease so bad. She's always teasing me and I really wanted to nab her. As she cooked her weiner, I surreptiliously squeezed my ben wa balls out and showed them to her. She touched them and gaped at me when she realized that they were gooey with girly stuff. I promptly popped them back in. After she finished eating her dinner, I asked her to pull on a corded ring I whipped out from the back of my skirt's elastic.

She stared at me with inquisitive interest. "What is that?"

I refused to tell her and told her simply pull. I tried very hard not to scream with pleasure as she complied. My anal beads slowly slithered out of my butt. I felt every bump and curve, until I pulled the last one out. When Valentine finished, I quickly snagged the corded fun and dropped in inside my duffle bag.

I stood up to stretch. Valentine started whispering some sexy shit in my ear. I told her to put her hands on the inside of the back of my skirt. She fondled the black lace booty pants I wore. They were tight and see-through. I bought them especially for her (on clearance no less.) She stood behind me, so no could see her left hand caressing my sensitized skin on the meat of the inner thight, right next to the mound. I was so fucking horny. I was ready to lick the shit out of her. She made me wait.

The party people decided to head over to a fun local pub for a little Irish music. Lilian, Valentine and I rode in my car. No one gave me directions, so it was up to the notorious bus commuters in my car to tell me where to go. Needless to say, it took us an hour to get there.

We passed the time by reminiscing, gossiping, making Lilian queasy with hard fetish talk, singing along quite badly to the tunes on the radio. The Go Go's "Our Lips are Sealed" was the highlight. At one point Lilian commented on my "gigantic" pink dildo. I was a bit surprised that she would think seven inches was "gigantic." I told her, "It's not THAT big." She told me that it was twice the size of most guys she's had. Poor thing. I asked her if she knew Farmer Guy, since she went to college with him and Runa.

"You had sex with Bob Horse-Dick?"

"Are you kidding? I taught that fucker how to use that cock the right way!" Valentine flashed a sly grin on my behalf. "He really knows how to pork me with that summer sausage of his." Lilian hugged herself and rocked back and forth, looking rather frightened.

At the bar, I mingled with a few old friends and got introduced to some new acquaintances. The band was great, but my ben wa balls were vibrating against my scrunty from the loud sound. It was nice at first, but as the evening progressed and the orgasm noises were muffled or channeled into cheering noises directed at the band, the sensation became somewhat unpleasant.

I went into the bathroom. The first bronze ball popped right out. But the second refused to leave its warm comfy spot at the deepest point of my vagina, which happens to be further than my fingers could reach. I tried and tried to take the stupid thing out, but I just couldn't grab a hold of it. I spent the half hour I should've invested on seducing Valentine into a little fun behind the bathroom stall before the arrival of her master, trying to fish that little bastard out.

I knew that if Valentine's Master arrived before my hoped for filthy tryst, I would be doomed to miss out on my chance. He's really a good dominator, and I just cannot compete with a guy who can convince his otherwise reserved girlfriend to dress in tape and vinyl at a local club. She is SO his slave that it isn't funny. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just that I know when I am outgunned. My feminine wiles can normally defeat any adversary, but he's not my type and to be honest, he is NOT an ordinary man. He is Valentine's Master, he has veto power and she is nuts about him. Nothing wrong with that though. All of us need a challenge. No wonder Valentine loves him so much.

I left the bathroom, and headed back to the bar. The music was still fun and it was still loud. Valentine was there holding hands with The Master. I bowed my head and groaned. Fortunately for me, Valentine had an outstretched hand for each of us. I learned over to her and whispered that I needed help. I felt very cold and disoriented from the orgasms. She told me that I needed to go home. I told her that I was really in no condition to drive from the sensitivity of the nasty little ball bouncing off my walls, vibrating from the music and stimulating both of my piercings. After much discussion, a call to the nurse help line, and a sleepily cranky Farmer Guy, we came to the conclusion that she had to try to fish the ball out of my cunt. The nurse said that it would eventually pass once my vagina walls were sufficiently relaxed, but let's face it, I could not relax.

As we headed back to the bar, Runa and her incredibly hot mom greeted us with some concern. I was shaking violently and probably looked rather shabby. Valentine explained the situation, and the empathy quickly devolved into laughter. I agreed that the situation was hysterical, but I didn't like it at all.

Valentine performed the proceedure behind the illusion of privacy afforded by a bathroom stall. I took off my panties, and as Valentine washed her hands, I noticed a pair of feet in the neighboring stall.

My unfortunate friend looked very stern. "This is not the circumstance I wanted for my first probe into your pussy."

I shouted "That's the biggest understantement, ever!" As I took deep breaths, in anticipation of Valentine's fingers. I heard giggling in the stall next to us. It sounded like Rune's mom. I covered my face with embarassment at our audience and the fact that my wonderful friend was about to perform a gynecological feat. The humiliation was intense enough for me to whimper, "This is why I can't deal with female gynecologists. I can't deal with this shit when I'm horny." Our neighbor found the situation hilarious and couldn't stop cackling.

"Oh Gods, you're horny too?" I nearly died when she said that. Her finger searching and sliding inside my hole really got me hot. The stupid little ball was slippery and hard to catch, and it rolled along with her movements. It felt so good that I began to moan. I stopped myself right away. I did NOT want this to be my first sexual experience with her. She didn't either, but the way she stared at my lips, unnerved me. She opened her eyes very wide, as she watched her buried finger. She bit my inner thigh to avoid eating me out, in an effort to keep her composure. Rune's mom keep laughing, made jokes about her own ben wa experience, and tried her best to make us insanely horny. After what seemed to be an eternity, Valentine gave up. She looked embarassed as she left the stall.

I sat back on the toilet bemoaning my rotten luck and listening to the Rune's mom being a terrible tease and hellish heckler. Suddenly, I heard a plop. My ben wa ball would be lost forever, but the drama ended. I felt tired as hell, so I bid everyone farewell, as I headed back to the farmhouse.

After driving for an hour and a half, I discovered that I was lost once again, very close to some Trollhagen place I had heard of before. A total of ninety miles off course. At that point, I used the time machine watch to teleport myself and the car to Michigan on the morning after. I drove on the dirt road to Mrs. Martinez's home. I took off my kitty ears, because she is very religious and unaware that I am a nympho. She seemed happy to see me pulling up to her drive way. She offered for me to pick all the cherries I wanted free of charge. That was worth the wait.

And that my friends, is how my pussy ate my balls. Well I'm off to spend yesterday night at Mikey's house and get some serious sleep before the big parade. Until next time, take it easy.

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2:58 AM - Thursday, June 24, 2004 - post comment